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2008-07-22
Talk About Love - [023的博客]
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http://023.yourblog.org/logs/3030488.html
那张满是委屈的枯槁的面容伴随着无法抑制而滚落的眼泪映入眼帘之时，我放佛失去了魂魄，后悔、愧疚、羞耻一脑门拥挤而来，不知所措、惘然若失，然而流泪显然于事无补，那是小孩子的幼稚把戏，我静静地看着这一切，搜寻所能做的一切来弥补。
准备好早餐，悄悄将鸡蛋剥好皮，让小朋友去交给她，希望这能稍稍安抚那颗被无情的命运摧残多年早已经伤痕累累的心。那是一颗坚强的心，命运的捉弄没有击垮她，生计的压迫没有压弯她，爱人的冷淡没有熄灭她，小女儿的不争气没有摧毁她，她是如此强大，带着一家老弱病残在汹涌澎湃、无可预知的海洋中破浪前行。她曾经是我内心的支撑，是我力量的源泉，她为我撑起一片天空，现在这片天破了，下雨了，被我不小心的一句句话捅了个口子，泪水伴随着雨水甚至血水哗哗哗哗劈头盖脸浇得我不知所措，瞬间的失忆，割断了昨日，将我一把推入成人的世界，理应由我接过棒子撑起一片天空，为她、为这个家。
我知道，那些像石头一样的坚强只是外表，记忆里自儿时起无数次的眼泪证明了那些所谓坚强的虚假，确切来说是无可奈何。每每离别之时，她总会试图控制已经滚落的眼泪，用哽咽的声音对我嘱咐几句话，八九不离十都是要听话、要照顾好自己、要好好学习一类，然后狠心的转身头也不回的走掉。而我只是漠然点点头算是回应，像看别人演戏一般注视着那些对我早已经失去杀伤力的泪水，目送那个熟悉的背影，越来越远、越来越小，终于消失在视野里，要么是被地平线淹没了，要么是被转角处的建筑遮挡了，总之，是消失了。这种时候，一种沉甸甸的忧伤将我笼罩，嘲笑他们这种明知无用仍旧一次次落泪的愚昧，嘲笑自己的无情，在大家都伤心不已的时刻偷笑，似乎很有大逆不道的嫌疑。她爱看电视剧，看到情动之处，同样控制不住泪水的肆虐，让手绢湿了又湿，有时候我会陪着她一起被感动落泪，有时候则是单纯地看着她忖度：她怎么这么容易感动啊？假期她回来的时候总有说不完的话，抱怨工作的辛苦，讲述家庭的不幸，一遍又一遍，讲完后淡淡一笑，这种时候她是不会落泪的，而我就在同情和厌烦间周而复始的循环，不知道能为她做什么。唯一一次在电话里听到她的哭泣是大三那年，因为那件事情泪水席卷了全家人，委屈、耻辱、伤痛和愤怒从电话里的哽咽声中让我感到了前所未有的震撼，许久以后再提起时，她仍然是愤恨的口气，而我从来都会避开，不想让不快乐再次招惹她。外公外婆走了以后，她的泪水就更多了，提到他们的时候，泪水总是少不了的附赠，那种来自心底的伤心也捞走了我不少泪水，更让我想不到的是，先前分散在多人身上的感情从那以后便全部倾泻到了我的身上，因为并不是每个人都能给你亲近的感觉和依赖感。
“跟XX比起来，你们差太多了！”她哽咽着说出这些字的时候，我才意识到，自从医院回来以后她的不满已经积累到需要爆发宣泄的程度了，而我们三个人把这些都忽略了，做着往日常做的事情，过着往日一样的生活，她变的像个小孩，挑剔我们炒的菜，抢着看喜欢的电视节目，提各种各样的要求，这些在以前看来都是不可思议的，而正是这种习以为常使得我们忽略了她的情感，她的需要，把她我们做的一起当成了应该，当成了理所当然，现在，她终于无法忍受，用泪水宣告了自己的不满。
我默默地做了自己该做的，用行为为曾经的错误忏悔，希望时间跑地缓慢些，让我能来得及弥补。我已经不再是年少时候那个关闭心门，冷眼看世界的边缘女孩，因为多年来，她一直用泪水浇灌我，让我明白了什么是亲情，什么是爱。
Let's Talk About Love
Everywhere I go, all the places that I've been
Every smile is a new horizon on a land I've never seen
There are people around the world
Different faces different names
But theres one true emotion that reminds me we are the same
Let's talk about love
From the laughter of a child to the tears of a grown man
There's a thread that runs right through us all
And helps us understand
As subtle as breeze that fans a flicker to a flame
From the very first sweet melody to the very last refrain
Let's talk about love let's talk about us
Let's talk about life let's talk about us
Let's talk about love
It's the king of all who live and the queen of good hearts
Till the name is all but lost
It's the ace you may keep your sleeve
As deep as any sea
With the rage of any storm
But as gentle as a falling leaf on any autumn morning
Let's talk about love let's talk about us
Let's talk about life let's talk about us
Let's talk about love
It's all we are needing
Let's talk about us
It's the air we are breathing
Let's talk about life
I wanna know you
Let's talk about trust
And I wanna show you
Everywhere I go, all the places that I've been
Every smile is a new horizon on a land I've never seen
There are people around the world
Different faces different names
But theres one true emotion that reminds me we are the same
Let's talk about love let's talk about us
Let's talk about life let's talk about us
Let's talk about love
Let's talk about life let's talk about us
Let's talk about love let's talk about us
Let's talk about life let's talk about us
Let's talk about love let's talk about us
Let's talk about life let's talk about us
Let's talk about love let's talk about us
Let's talk about life let's talk about us
Lets talk about love
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